Balancing the needs of five children, a husband and an employer is challenging and I don't have the stupidity to believe that I am successful at all of the roles all of the time. I have lowered my standards of what acceptable might mean because:
1) I make good money for what I do.
2) I like working.
2) I like to spend the money that I make and really do not want to raise five kids on a single salary.
It is not that T does not make good money. It is that I like to be able to offer experiences to my children that will make them more well-rounded and experienced adults. We like to ski. Can you even imagine the costs of an annual pass for a family of seven people?
It is not just about the money, though. I have a solid post-secondary education and have spent years of my life developing the skills that I need to be in demand as an employee. I am not niave enough to believe that I will ALWAYS be in demand but I want to take advantage of this for as long as I can. And so I am struggling to find a routine that will make this work.
The kids have had to learn to be more independent than they would have to be if I were home. And this has both ups and downs.
My 13 year old sometimes has to take on the role of caregiver, while I am out with others. This is, unfortunately for me, not something that is in his skill set however, he is trying to step up to the plate. It warmed my heart this week when I left my 10 year old at home to drive the others to activities and my 13 year old took the time to call him to remind him to lock the front door behind us. This summer (I know it is only Sept but I am a planner if nothing else), he will need to get a part time job. We are saving for his post-secondary education but each of the children are going to need to help out a little more than before. He already knows that half of what he earns will go into his RESP (Registered Education Savings Plan) so that he is well-funded for university. These days, a 3 - 4 year degree does not get you a job. You need at least a master's to find employment.
The one that I struggle with sometimes is my newly found 11 year old. I am struggling to ensure he gets enough attention / time as we have yet to find a sport that he is interested in taking AND fits within the schedule. Right now, with just three of the kids (two that are biologically mine and one of our new additions), we are out M-F after school at sports related activities. And we cram music lessons in there right after school and before sports. Sat - Sun is reserved for the games that result from the during the week sports and, once there is snow on the ground, this will be time for skiing. There is just no time left to be able to get this little guy into something. He is also the one that I think needs the most support to be able to adjust to all of the changes that have happened in his life.
Being home would allow me the opportunity to get more things done during the day but deprive me of the need to assign some of these tasks to kids. It would facilitate me being in the schools more often but I am already heavily involved in council activities and sports volunteer roles. I feel terrible that I cannot be the parent that attends EVERY field trip or event at the school. Honestly, between PD days, regular school holidays and the inevitable sick child, my spouse and I burn through our time off regardless. Adding the fun activities is going to be a challenge.
On the up-side, we have arranged our work schedules so that he drops the kids off at 9 am and I pick them up at 3:30. It is very rare that we allow our work schedules to interfere with this routine. It is the reason that we can have 4 pm music lessons and that we can 'drive' in that special project in the morning. We are doing all that we can to continue to have the funds required for the lifestyle we want while placing our family at the top of the priority pile.
And honestly, if I were home during the day, it would just mean that I could catch up on my sleep.
